Just as my first language test in French when PST began, I came back from my last host family stay in Mbour with a very bad cold that just got progressively worse as the two days passed between returning to Thies and taking the second LPI. At 10 in the morning, my body aching, brain fuzzy, throat burning from a night of coughing so hard I nearly threw up several times and my nose like a snot faucet, I sat in a little room with two language teachers being asked questions in Pulaar while I struggled to think in English.
Sufficed to say, I failed.
I got Intermediate Low as my score.
That alone would not have caused the complete emotional breakdown that proceeded after I had a small chat with the program and language coordinator. The not so hidden suggestion that the reason why I didn't pass was because I didn't really want to be here so I didn't really try was not lost on me. And I got royally pissed. When I am sick and can barely breath and have only had a few hours of sleep, I sob uncontrollably when I get angry. Because of course I left a perfectly good job, cut my savings in half to pay off a loan and put off grad school and came 7000 miles just for a nine week summer camp in Africa.
No one asked me if I wanted to be here. They just decided I failed because I didn't want to be here.
Let's make something very clear: if I didn't want to be here, I would not have applied let alone done everything else to be here. There were a thousand and one times when I thought about leaving and didn't. Because I bloody well want to be here.
Anywho, long story short (too late, I know) I had to stay another week for more language classes, with another test set for today. As they told us in the beginning of PST, if we didn't pass our language proficiency tests, we couldn't stay. You have to pass.
They should put an astrix on the 'have to' part. Before we even had our test today the language coordinator came and told me and Adrienne (the other girl in my language group who also only received an Intermediate Low score) that we'd be leaving for Kolda tomorrow morning and install on Monday (Adrienne) and Wednesday (me).
Seems to me that it didn't really end up mattering if we formally passed or not.
Oh well, after 10 weeks of stressing on PST and language tests, now I get to worry about actually getting to my village and how the real Peace Corps work will be. It is going to be a whole different kind of hard/challenging/frustrating/rewarding/crazy. But it is what I want to do and why I came here in the first place. So in a wacko sort of way I'm actually looking forward to it.
And really, this last extra week I've had at the center has been extremely beneficial. I'm over my cold, got to have some real sleep, changed malaria medication, found out I've lost 12 pounds since arriving and had some solid language training my my awesome LCF, Jieba, at her house. We even made some EXTREMELY good spaghetti at her house. Also made cheese sauce that, mixed, was really really good. Never would have mixed them in the States, but I have a feeling this is not going to be the first 'would never usually do that in the States' food moments in the next two years.
I'd like to take this moment to thank all of my friends, fellow new volunteers and family for all of their support. Not just for this last week (though, really, THANK YOU for the last week) but for this entire process. From application to departure, from miserable moments in Mbour to the happy play time with the cute little twins at my host family's house. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times. I'll never truly be able to thank you guys enough.
I'll have internet at the regional house in Kolda until Tuesday, as I install on Wednesday. I'll try to post some pictures of swearing in and perhaps a last little, 'see ya in a few weeks' post. There is what is called the 5 week challenge. Basically it's a challenge to stay in village for 5 weeks without spending a night at the regional house. I'd like to make that goal. So it'll be, probably, that long until I get to post again.
Thank you again.
Cheers!
Christine
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